Wise & Young

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Love Life?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?

Love life?!?!?!?!?

It’s been awhile since I talked about my love life and/or lack thereof. Since this is an exploration into my progress and life as a young black gay male. I feel the need to comment on my love life or whatever folks are calling it nowadays. Now let me make a clear delineation a fuck life and a love life are two different things. A fuck life is basically your sex life, and with the animalistic nature of sex, many people will and have had sex with someone just for the sake of having sex as opposed to having sex w/ someone who you have an emotional attachment to or even that you want to talk to before or afterwards.

Now love life encompasses the emotional, the dating, and the inter-personal relationships that can build into something more. Recently, I met a few guys in random ass ways, and like usual we hang out and chill and then somehow the phone calls stop, the interest wanes, and the once brewing interest comes to an abrupt halt. Some of the time it is on me, where I’m the one with the interest that wanes and comes to an abrupt halt, while other times it’s on them.

I guess it all relates back to finding someone you’re compatible with, which has always been an issue for me. I can get along with pretty much anyone but to be romantically linked to someone take more than an amiable and casual compatibility or does it? I think compatibility also speaks to have common ideals, and experiences, because I was not raised in a very atypical manner I do think that has hindered my ability to a certain level, to connect with someone.

In the past I used to think it was the way that I look, I’ve been told I look “different”. Basically I have the features of a black person but not necessarily those of an African-American, and ironically my African features are not “African” for Africans. For a long time, I used to take myself out of the dating game thinking that those I would want to date would not want to date me, until. Until I found out that most people will give everyone a chance as long as you are respectable and assertive.

But now I’m at a very interesting place, I honestly do not care if I have someone or not. I have forced myself to date a few guys here and there, but there was no real interest or desire in for me, I felt pretty numb, the euphoria of dating or the once burning desire to be with a soul mate has become replaced with boredom and a more internalized focus on myself.

Just my thoughts

1 Comments:

  • God loves you, and so do I! LOL... But seriously though, I hear what you're saying. Trust me, your Prince Charming is just around the corner, and he'll come when you least expect it. Kind of cliche-ish, but it's the truth!

    By Blogger Virginia Slim, at 2:06 PM  

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