Wise & Young

Thursday, August 03, 2006


What do you fear?

When I was going through my process we had a saying actually we had a lot of shit to say do, and adhere, but one saying was “What is Fear, False Evidence Appearing Real”. I’m not even going to tell you how long it took me before I realized that fear was actually an acronym. I digress, lately with one of my friends dad’s recent death, and the accidental death of someone another person’ fiancée it has got me thinking about death. More specifically what about death do I fear, the actual process and the idea of my life ending doesn’t really scare me or incite fear, in a strange way I would welcome the process. But the idea that I die alone, and have no one to mourn my death is one that really scares me, and has always scared me, even when I was child. My fear wasn’t alleviated when I found out that one of my grand aunts went to go visit some friends for 3 days, and when she came back she found her husbands decomposing body in their apartment, dead from a freak accident or something.
Another fear of mine is catching HIV, this fear I can attribute to someone, my Uncle who passed away from complications due to AIDS. To some this is a healthy and a realistic one, considering the many factors I have which put me in a higher probability of catching the virus, my age range 18-25; me living in the DC metro area, which has one of the highest rates of HIV infection in the US; being gay and a person of color. These are all factors that put me at risk, but out of this fear, I have two things. I have educated myself about the virus, from doing graduate level work on the Ryan White CARE act, or doing my senior thesis on the HIV/AIDS epidemic and how it has changed the very political landscape as it pertains to gay rights, economic empowerment, and even racism. I also have respect for the virus, the type of respect one has for a worthy adversary. I respect its power, and ability to change and how its indiscriminately, I do respect HIV, and fear it.
I also have a phobia against birds, I hate them all with the exception of Falcons and Eagles for some reason they don’t scare me. But to this day I can’t walk around a whole bunch of pigeons w/o balling up my fist, and gritting my teeth, if there was a way to eradicate the world of birds, I’d be all for it. Now what’s your fear? Do you fear anything if so why and why not?

Just my thoughts


  • The only fear that I have is that my child will die before I don't. I wouldn't be able to handle it...

    Falcons and Eagles are the most dangerous birds...

    By Blogger LUVIN ME, at 11:41 AM  

  • I am SO scared of birds.. I blame it on that damn movie and my mom for letting me watch it

    By Blogger lj, at 9:42 PM  

  • I fear flying!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:21 AM  

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