Wise & Young

Monday, July 31, 2006

To be Black, Gay, and Frat?!?!?!?!?!!?

Recently, I was invited to this discussion that I found the topic to be interesting “Homosexuality in Black Fraternities”. My initial impression was that not too many straight men would really go to this event if nothing else simply because they would not have too much to say, or didn’t even want to be seen going to that event. To my surprise, the majority of the audience, albeit small, was presumably straight, not b/c of mannerisms but due to the tone, and type of questions that were posed. Rashid was moderating the event, and this one guy through his line of questioning insinuated that gay men & women mainly come through graduate/alumni chapters and yes there are a few gay men “who slip through the cracks” of undergrad but mainly the homosexual man comes through via the alumni/graduate chapters of Black Greek Letter Organizations (BGLO’s). Now the whole time while this was going on, I was quiet, one because I arrived using my C.P. watch, and two b/c it was just too damn hot of a topic for me to be all that involved with.
But when he said “slipped through the cracks” I chuckled, because the guy did have a point, graduate chapters tend not to place that much emphasis on sexual preference. Yet, I did chuckle because the vast majority of black gay men & women I know pledged/hazed/ went underground/etc. In fact one of my lb’s is effeminate, but that bruh is thorough with his, and in many aspects had to deal with more shit than others simple b/c they did pick with him more so, under the guise of trying to “man him up”. Hell, in every org there are those chapters that are known for having an unusually high percentage of gay/bisexual folks to have crossed through that chapter. I can think of one off the top of my head, where my number (someone who says my same number) and sands (someone who crossed during the year and season as myself) is gay. In fact his chapter is widely known for that, but they go hard, and very few are effeminate, or the stereotypical “fag”, well with the exception of being able to step their asses off.
After that topic was sort of dealt with, but not really, somehow all these guys started to refer to J.L. King’s book about the Down Low. Now, I’m need for J.L. King to be my new benefactor because he must have ranked some serious cash. HEY J.L. holla @ me I got a new idea for your next book that you can write, it’s called the Down Low Sell Out. Anyway, there seemed to be some genuine concern about Black men who engage in unprotected sex with men and women, and passing on HIV to unknowing partners. Unfortunately, this is the day and age we live in, goin’ raw with anyone you take your chances, and those guys who refuse to wear a condom for b/c of the lack of sensation or its “too small” (yea right) here’s a tip. Go to your local freak store, and get some ultra thin condoms, that are FDA approved, meaning they still have to provide the same level of support, as regular condoms, and if really want to do it up, go and get the ones are ribbed on the inside and outside, as to simulate sex w/o a condom. Yes it costs more, but you pay for what you get. But I digress….it goes back to folks just needing to take responsibility for their bodies. If your going to cheat, you must use protection, b/c not using protection is a sure fire way of getting caught once something is passed onto you to your committed partner. What was sad was that a lot of guys still seem to think that the main way that people are getting HIV in the black community is from bisexual men who then infect women who then go on to affect other men.
No one really discussed the idea of black masculinity and effeminacy and would guys in frats be okay if their lb was gay but “a man’s man” as opposed to the stereotypical reed-thin limp wristed man?

Just my thoughts….


  • I haven't read blogs in so long, and I decided to check up on some of your old entries.

    So I was glad you came to this event. Honestly, Greg was supposed to be more of the moderator, but it became pick on Rashid day, LOL.

    I honestly don't think mainstream black america is ready for discussions on anything deeper than the DL -- you see how violently some of them in the audience reacted to my notion that there's hostility for gay men and that's why they don't come out.

    "Be out with yours so we can make a decision on you"

    That's got to be the most nuts thing I've heard from a fraternity member -- hey dumb ass, that's exactly why people don't come out because to be out is to automatically be judged on your sexuality and not your merits. What 19 or 20 year old CHOOSES that for themselves?


    It sure was nice to see a friendly face there, though.

    By Blogger Rashid @ Old Gold Soul, at 9:02 PM  

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