Wise & Young

Tuesday, November 07, 2006


Celibacy, that word has so much weight, for some it means an expression of their spirituality and making themselves pure once again, akin to virginity. For others they are saving themselves for the “one”, but some use it as a means to deal with their sexual demons. What better way to stop sexual addiction than to just stop. Just as there are different reasons for being celibate there are just as many ways to practice it.

When someone thinks of celibacy, the idea of not having sex is the first notion, but that is open to each person’s interpretation of sex. Some consider only anal and vaginal penetration sex and everything else is fair game. While others would attach masturbation, oral sex, rimming, and any touch thereof as off limits, to each his or her own.

Personally when I made the decision to be celibate is was for a number of reasons. The first was that I felt I was going “too fast”, that my sexual habits while not as much as others, was too much for me. Another reason for the decision was that the act of sex has lost a lot of its allure, not because I was not good at it. But it was because it just purely a physical act, no feelings involved. Without feelings involved there was no incentive for me or the guy to really make it something special. As any reader of my blog will know I am extremely concerned with contracting a STI (sexual transmitted infection), yes I practice safe sex, but there were times where I slipped up (show me someone who has never slipped up, and I will show you a liar, hell most of the worlds population were conceived because of slip ups).

As far as what I consider off limits is anal, vaginal (no worries there). I started my celibacy over five months ago, and I must say its going fairly well. I mean just b/c I’m celibate does not mean I am dead. But I can say when you take sex out of the equation certain things become clearer, well not clearer but easier to discern. It also it helps weed folks out, there are plenty of guys out there who say they are fine with dealing with someone who is celibate when they are really after a hook up and when they realize that me being celibate is actually in place.

One thing that most guys fail to realize is that if or when I am with someone seriously, its done, my celibacy will end. Because then I will be highly engaged in having and creating a memorable experience. But until then I am on self imposed celibacy, which isn’t bad, when I look at the alternative, for me.

Now before I get inundated with remarks on my posts that are sonnets praising the joys of anonymous sex, hook ups, and the like. Like me say this, do what you do, I cannot and will not judge you, because your sex life just not be how you define yourself. There is more to you than that, just as there is more to me than being celibate.

Now, I have a question for you all, is receiving head breaking vows of celibacy?


  • Celibacy has it's benefits. However, I cannot agree that it can make anyone more "spiritual" or even more "pure." Once you have dealt with sexual immorality or promiscuity, the door is open.... By going celibate only resist temptation for a moment, but urges, desires, and the sins of your actions will still remain evident.

    By Blogger The Captain, at 4:50 PM  

  • YES receiving head is breaking the vows of celibacy lol it's oral sex... that' s-e-x, sex... lol

    and i feel u on all that, but does it really ever just STOP at oral? i mean if the person is mad ugly, u gonna wanna be closin ur eyes while they goin down on u anyway and they're not in ur face, lol then yeah it would seem to not be sex, or intimate but... yeah thas breakin that vow lol, to me anyway

    to me celibacy is by cutting off all sexual contact between you and ANYone else in spite of the act

    i was celibate at one point, and still "kinda" am for the same reason as you, fear of contracting something... that's my #1 reason

    my #2 is same as you, being emotionless, i ain't gonna lie - not even a week ago, i hooked-up w/ someone literally "just because," i wasn't even that horny and he was kinda cute, but it was really just for some attention, but i didn't feel anything for him and he was SOOOO into me... so i don't think i can do it again except for with this one person that i feel emotionally compatible with, so i feel u on that one...

    and beFORE i put anymore of my business out there... lol

    i just wanna say that it's my freakiness that be gettin me in trouble cuz i LOVE it, but it's good to be as freaky as you wanna be with the ONE person u wanna be with cuz disease is no respecter of person

    nice post, as u can tell, i can go on and on yo lol ttyl

    By Blogger heartbreaker, at 11:29 PM  

  • bill clinton says gettng head is not even "sex".... so its not breaking a vow of celibacy

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:38 AM  

  • Brotha, I applaud you for having the strength of character and maturity to put the "CLINK CLINK lock down" on the relations until you come across somebody worthy of your affections and "goodies". I too have recently made that decision, for reasons very similar to you.

    Maybe you can give me some tips on keeping the "inner freak" at bay until a good man comes into the picture. My scorpio-ish flirtatious tendencies have a tendency to leave me in very tense situations, so if you have any input, holla at a playa.

    I'm liking the blog, BTW!

    By Blogger dancehard, at 10:29 PM  

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