Introducing Lenny Dorsey

Ladies and Gentlemen I give you a V-day story by Lenny Dorsey. Le'Chaim!

Hello my name is Leonard Dorsey and I’m alone, again. Well again would entail that there was even a modicum of time where this wasn’t the case. But as the minutes grow into hours, hours grow into days, so to does my state of solitude increase. By now you’re probably saying to yourself while rolling your proverbial eyes. “Lord, another dramatic fag whining about being alone.” Well in my defense I have this to say.

Fuck you! You’re reading this so allow me to be the dramatic cunt that I set out to be. Anyway, back to my army of one. I truly don’t understand in all honesty I’m damn fine, plain and simple. I’m tall, in-shape although not as much as I once was, great in bed or so they say, easy to talk to, and financially secure, did I mention humble. In short what every parent wants for their daughter. Hell I get the “why can’t you be straight” all the time from females, not the dick hungry ones that are so desperate for a man that they will take anything its attached to. No, I’m talking about the dime females, the ones breeders and the bisexual boys run after. I guess for the vagina carrying crew I’m the forbidden fruit (for the slow ones that was a pun).

But I can say that the men, and I use that term loosely, in DC have ever been so nice as to provide themselves as mirages. You know an illusion, I’ll use this guy Craig as an example. Craig and I met in 05, two weeks before the New Year, in one of DC’s most infamous of places. The Glorious Health and Amusement, fondly and quietly referred to as “The Follies”. For those of you looking at your monitors inquisitively like, what’s that, it’s was a place where men went to have sex with other men. They had dark rooms, gloryholes (google it), wooden benches and beds for sex. Now don’t go clutching your pearls too hard or gasping too loudly to attract the attention of those around you. If you are gay or even straight for that matter you have probably done the same shit, just not in that place, or maybe you have. Back to Craig, when I saw him I was literally taken aback, which doesn’t happen often. I saw this fine, well built caramel dipped Adonis standing erect at 6’5. It was as if he didn’t walk but glided his body across the floor. When I got his attention and he smiled at me, it was over. We started to make out, I started to feel his body to make sure everything was as how I thought it was it would be. Broad shoulders that could carry the weight of world easily like Atlas. Chest firm and solid, arms like tree trunks. Abs so defined that I could do a months load of laundry on them. His ass was amazing as well, firm and round like two basketballs rubbing against each other. So after our make-out section we went to a bar hung out and talked. He asked if I wanted to a threesome and I declined, a. I don’t bottom, b. his “boy” was just one of those guys who people would like because he was hi-yalla and that was it. I mean people need to realize if you’re going to have a color complex still get people who are goodlooking. So we ended up going back to the Follies and had amazing sex. I’ll leave the rest to your Cocodorm filled minds. We exchanged numbers and made all the usual pretenses about going to keep in touch.

This time it was different because we did, he would call, I would call, and over the course of six months we hung out several times, went out on plenty of dates, and had sex. In March he wished me happy birthday and I only in passing told him it was my b-day three weeks prior which surprised me that he remembered. By May I felt comfortable enough to call him after he went on a Cruise with his family to talk about taking our thing, whatever it was, to being exclusive. So I called, and his phone was cut off. No big deal, he would call me when he got back. May came and went as did June, July, August, September and the rest of ’06.

Eventually I saw him online, and hit him up and he explained to me that he was trying to date me but it got too difficult, but wouldn’t explain how. That he thought I was bottom b/c my style was preppy, how did you know my style was preppy if I had one sweat pants, black hoodie black air force ones and a long white tee. Then he said that that he found someone else more versatile than I and decided to pursue a relationship with them. But that didn’t work out b/c they dogged him out. Mind you, I know I’m a top but if I was ever to date or be exclusive with anyone, I would please them. Enough said.

So after listening to my Billie Holiday, Fiona Apple, Erykah Badu, Lauryn Hill, Ma Rainey, Bessie Smith, and Mary J Blige mix tape I just chocked it up to another mirage.

Like any other mirage Craig from a distance, emotionally and romantically seemed to be the one I was waiting for. Granted the auspices of how we met were not the greatest but in my mind, it was one of those things that if the end justifies the means fuck it. But as soon as I got close to where I could finally put down my guard and give myself over. No sooner did I find out I was tricked and I had actually walked in a circle to the same familiar spot I have always been.

At times I wonder, Len, is it you? Do you really come off “that mean” or that unapproachable, do you except too much, maybe common decency went out with cross colors and Karl Kani. Or do you on some subconscious level pick people who you know subconsciously are not going to work out because deep down you have some underlying fear of intimacy or feel unworthy of being loved? Are you just another fag caught up in looks and can’t see people for anything more than a nice ass a good body and occasionally nice face? Hells nah! I’ve psychoanalyzed myself to the point that Freud would even say “Damn Nigga shit!” No, its just that I have not met enough people, people in non sexual environments, or in places where the conquest isn’t for the next nut but rather the golden apple (again with the fruit pun).

So as V-day approaches I sit away in my home, my empty home listening to the longing in Luther’s voice as he sings “A house is not a home”, understanding both the words, and the longing that lies beneath it all.