Wise & Young

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

The Inauguration ball had all the intrigue, controversy, competition, and recounts that made it a fitting tribute to the contemporary political landscape. The ball started around 6 am, at the Bryn Manor in Oxon Hill, MD. The venue was very spacious, well lit, and allowed for free movement for all those who attended. The commentator was Deshaun Evisu who was able to control the crowd, appease the judges, and keep the momentum of the ball going.

After the judges were seated, the first category was Best Dressed Spectator, now to me there were plenty, plenty of very well dressed folks in attendance. But with that said there came this Ebony looking as if she her driver had gotten lost on the way to National Airport to take her back to Paris and she came in looking to use the facilities, very opulent, and very poised.

Virgin Vogue was interesting they had a few people vogue for the first time and what was cool was that the audience was surprisingly supportive for those who were putting themselves out there to be judged for the first time. This guy from the House of Krayola won.

Then the discrepancy, it started started with the BQ realness category which was there by divided into Thug, Pretty boy, and Schoolboy. Each had a specific way they were supposed to dress

Thug – “I am in the Army now” Army Attire
Schoolboy – “Learning and Achieving” ROTC Cadet Attire
Pretty boy – “Accelerate your Life” Navy Attire

But what happened was one of the first contestants came out in what looked to be an official Army Class A uniform, also known as Dress greens. But he got chopped, and let me tell you, the guy who was chopped was highly upset. I mean there is nothing wrong with feeling that you were undeserving disqualified but to storm off pouting and whispering obscenities under your breath is just poor form. Granted there seem to be some discrepancy as if he was deserved to be chopped, so they called him back like two more times and the judges kept chopping him. Ah well, but then for the ROTC Cadet Attire it was mess all around, guys coming in there with some black sneakers on, wrinkled clothes. I mean where were the starched creases, the rifle or anything? So they all got chopped. Then Pretty boys much like the Schoolboys, did not put any real effort into their category, and thusly got chopped.

The Designer cuts was interesting this one guy had the American flag inspired design and a flashing red-white-blue star in his head.

The Hands Performance started off very, very interesting. They had like five or six competitors that were chopped, not because of their artistic merit, or lack thereof but because they performed too far away from the judges panel. The judges wanted to teach them a lesson. But what was interesting was a guy named Cabbage Ebony jumped in and started giving hands, with the vigor and audacity that read “Bitch, try and chop me and see what happens!” After this, and some grumbling from the judges panel, Desahun Evisu and RJ Aga, called all the competitors who got chopped to compete again. This time some of them were chopped twice but others proceeded on. I don’t remember who won but I will say this: Those folks were telling a story, what it was I don’t remember, but it did remind me of liturgical dancing.

The Runway category was pretty good actually. I’ve seem folks compete in runways before when some of my friends would drag me to go to some HBCU’s fashion show and the modeling clubs at the school would compete, one word BORING. But, surprisingly so not this time, the outfits were to recreate Uncle Sam’s uniform and walk the hell out of it, which most of the contestants did with a cool, calm collected grace of a gazelle on the Serengeti. Each had a different variation but the none of the walks were haphazard in the least. But there was person who was different, his gaze was unflinching as if no one was in the room except for him and the judges. His walk was like a lion stalking his prey, calculated, pensive, and at the same time rhythmic. His name is Derrick Allure, and let me tell you Allure was right. The final battle was between him and this guy who was giving a very European stylized walk, then Derrick Allure switched up the walk and did a very Haute Couture walk and them moved seamlessly into a very Ralph Lauren, Donna Karan, All-American walk. Derrick won the battle.

Female Figure Sex Siren had two contestants this light skin girl who was from the House of Belleza, which is interesting b/c the House of Belleza is an all female house, and a new house. It will definitely be interesting to see where and how this house will develop.

Old way Performance Sorry I wasn’t really paying attention I saw Frank Leon Roberts and was debating should I go over and speak, I did not b/c I am very shy.

Butch Queen Face, it was interesting the first guy had some serious cheekbones like Grace Jones. But honestly after the third contestant there were variations in shade but they all started to look alike. Albeit they were very handsome young men but they did not possess that striking double take face that you find yourself staring at them because their face was so appealing and interesting to gaze upon. But I’m not going to lie I did fight the urge to ask them what they use on their face to make their skin so clear, I mean those boys need to be on a commercial for some skin care product. In fact maybe that should be a theme for a category. Hmmm

Realness with a Twist, I must say I was extremely apprehensive about this category because at the Evisu Ball nearly 12,342 guys came out the wood work to compete and it took over 45 minutes for that one category alone. So when I saw a good number of guys line up for this category I was thinking “Oh no, not again!” But the judges did the damn thing and processed and chopped a good amount of the guys who came up. The guy who won was a free agent and very good, handsome too.

Female Figure “Who Shall be the First”, the idea was that you were supposed to dress as if you were the first female president. The first contestant came out in some plastic slippers and a long black velvet dress, CHOP. The next contestant came out in a great outfit if you worked in an office, CHOP. But the third had it down, she came out there with two secret service men with the ear pieces holding photos of her. Them she came out dressed in demure black Chanel inspired power suit, with the double strand pearl necklace. The outfit had Nancy Pelosi, Hilary Rodham Clinton, and Condi Rice written all over it!

Presidential Invitation had a very interesting premise where certain people are invited to attend and to then compete for the 1200 dollars. I have to say that this was not only interesting but the group was hype for it, people where craning their necks to see some nasty Voguing Battles that were going down. The participants were both FemQueens and ButchQueens who were at the top of their game. With the very first battle one of the judges couldn’t see the battle so he the contestants had to vogue all over again. Now for anyone who is not familiar with voguing, its a very hard art form to master and to compete against someone means that you not only have your our routine but its also very improvisational and very no holds bar. So to ask the competitors who are running on adrenaline and tired to do what they did just to see it again seems unfair to the performers. But that aside the battles were hot, and to a certain degree you could tell it was not about the money but about reputation and bragging rights. Shaderra Prodigy was the one who won the money, I mean she was great, but what seemed to help her out was that she voguing more “in your face”, whipping her hair and her body around like a doll in the spin cycle she would then fall back and pop back up. I hope she uses that money to see a good chiropractor because all that she gave to the audience must have been hell on her back.

All in all it was an interesting night/day, there were certain observations I had.

  • There was this guy handing out trophies with some Eskimo inspired boots and a blue and white tartan kilt, the kilt was HOT.
  • I felt sorry for RJ Aga the one who threw the ball because the ball ended prematurely but it was a great event. There seems to be a hierarchy of houses, and that helps determine, along with how good you are in your category, how far you advance.
  • The judges needed to have been chopped they were rude, annoying, and down right trifling at times. It was clear that RJ and the rest of the people in the ball did not agree with their decisions but for the sake of decorum let the bad judgment go, better have bad judgments than bad blood.
  • Some of the guys in the audience were wearing some of the hottest labels out, and I kept thinking how can they afford it.
  • Ayanna Khan was smart she was there to give a spiel about her upcoming ball in September but after that she was GONE!

Just my thoughts


  • this is an EXCELLENT report. Seriously.

    By Blogger Frank León Roberts, at 9:08 PM  

  • You write really well. You will do a good book one day. I wish I was wise and young like you. I know you did not get there without hard work. From just another fan. I hope you get over the "never speak French" thing. It was a time and a place and I pray you move on from that. Having French under your belt is useful for international relations. Don't cut your nose off to spite your face! I think you are a good man. Me Blackgay 47, UK.

    By Anonymous Dirg Aaab-Richards, at 12:16 PM  

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