Why Fight It

We all have habits, modes of behavior, and stereotypes that we try hard not to fit in for one reason or another. Some Whites go out of their way to demonstrate how much they appreciate and love the diversity that is everywhere. While some Blacks disdain foods typically associated with Black people and in turn with being poor, i.e. swine, and chitterlings. The list can go on and on, but what would happen if you stopped fighting something you either consciously or sub-consciously were fighting? Would you be happier, more content, or just be in the same situation that you currently are in. With me, one of the things I’ve been fighting is being associated with Africans, and in turn dating Africans. Part of it stems from my own insecurities about being half African, and my earliest interactions with Africans been very traumatic.

I remember there was this guy who was really enchanted, yes bitches, enchanted with me. He was half Indian, half African, and fully identified with being African and barely ever talked about being Indian. Nothing would ever happen between us, he was married, of course to a half African & half Black woman, with twin boys. I play no one’s sideline hoe, but we would talk. One day we were talking, and he brought up the topic of my problems in the dating scene. So he said that I needed to date an African, well not just any African, one that came from the same “class” as my own African side. His rationale was that my interests are varied and aren’t really tied to the Black experience, and an African man would be a better fit due to their varied interests. I didn’t buy it, because I was not raised in an African environment, I only identify with being African when it’s advantageous to do so.

Recently though I have started to deal with a few, I must admit it does seem easier. Each one of them has a lot more going for them then the average Black guy, but then again none of these are average. Nothing has really come out of dealing with any of them, but it’s been somewhat different. There are those cultural differences that are present, and my eventual disclosure that I’m half African doesn’t really seem to have any effect positive or neutral. So we’ll see how it goes.