ATL part 1

Part 1.

Okay, let’s talk about lukewarm ATL….It sucked ‘nuff said. I didn’t go out to ANY CLUBS, BARS, nothing. What did I do, I went to the AU (by myself), Lenox Mall (by myself). My roommate was a vendor, so that’s what their main focus was, but what kills me is that DAYUM NEGRO, not one club or anything during your only time in ATL since you were kid. I definitely would have had a better time if I went with my str8 friends, they would have at least went to one gay place to appease me. So let me go more in-depth.
Thursday

I left for ATL, met my roommate for the weekend, and frat, at the Reagan National, we talked for a moment, and this saw booty. What is that you may ask, that is when you see someone’s posterior before you see them. So let me tell you about Booty, my roommate for pride and I kept tryin’ to figure out if he was just light skin or Puerto Rican. Needless to say, that will remain a mystery. After we land, we go take a taxi driven by a Habesha (someone who is Ethiopian), so this “brutha” had us riding for like 20 mins listening to some freakin’ talk show infomercial, great just great. While riding we spotted the so-so def sign that signifies your entering ATL. So my ghetto bougie ass starts rapping and singing all these songs from artists of the ATL!!!!! That was probably the MOST fun I had all Thursday.

So we check in, no problems there, and then make it up to our room. Then roomie and I get ready for his “book launching” at some restaurant in the ATL. While we’re getting ready this author who is on my roommate’s dick or ass the whole weekend arrives. In all my life, I’ve never heard of a 30 something black man from Detroit who now lives in LA sounding like a dayum valley girl circa 1987, but hey c’est la vie. Oui?

So we get there, to the red room lounge, or something. I’m there, and it’s like a gay place that you’d find in DuPont, which means basically all white, and with token black men who were there b/c of their affinity for white men. While there, I ask roomie, how did he get such a place or how he heard about it. Then I’m informed that he didn’t’ really rent it out, he’s just there, and whomever shows up will just come over. I’m like what the hell; I’m at some bootleg book signing! While at the bootleg book signing, I order some fried green tomatoes, & salad with vinaigrette. It finally gets here, and the food is BAD…..the green tomatoes were HARD y’all HARD and tasteless…Then the salad was okay but the vinaigrette which was poured all over the salad was burned my mouth. So I sat there quiet, b/c I was hungry, and didn’t know anyone.

Then about an hour and half into it, there came more people. The first group we’ll call the NYC crew. They were folks that my roomie had known and whatnot. Let me tell YOU, first off they came with so much energy I was like FINALLY!!! Granted I still the quiet, reserved, unapproachable me w/o my drank, but it didn’t help that one of them was fine. We’ll call him DLB….let me tell y’all if I wasn’t on this celibacy thing, I would have had to make some big moves. Like change clothes, and be more owt, but I digress. So I met all the people in the NYC crew, they seemed like cool people they came and left pretty quickly. I wished they would have taken me with them.

The next crew was the Morehouse boys, not men but boys. All of them looked young as hell like, illegal young & small. I talked to one who had like a bad relaxer, but was cool nonetheless. But they were somewhat cliquish, but then again, I wasn’t really enjoying myself. So that’s all I have to say about that good ole book launching…

Then roomie, autha, and I head back to the host hotel, so we are chillin’ in the lobby and autha offers to buy us some pineapple cake martinis. Never had one, but boy it tastes just like its namesake. Needless to say my novice drinking ass, sips it once, and then downs it in one gulp. They both look at me like dayum, I’m like what? So I try to convince them to go out to Bulldogs. They both are like nah you go ahead w/o me. So I take the hint and realize they may want some “alone time”. So I went up to the room changed in my first wardrobe change of the night. While up there I feel the effects of the drank, and I’m like whoa I got to concentrate.

I make my way to Bulldogs, and see the line, let me tell ya’ll. That line was longer than Dream when Common was there. Boy I got in line, and then found out that I didn’t take out enough money to gain entrance, so I was like fuck it! Then made my way back to the hotel, and sat in the lobby. In order to give autha and roomie time for some ahem personal time…While in the lobby, there is this guy eyein’ me and dayum near everyone else there. So I sit with him and start conversing, and the first thing I notice is that he’s pale. Not light skin but PALE, almost had an opaque quality about him. We begin to talk, and it’s an interesting convo, he’s pretty much a balla who doesn’t have to work for anything. Pale has a PhD in Art and whatnot. So we talk & talk, and then I get tired of the flirting, and just make an excuse to go back up to my room, thinking that they couldn’t have taken more than 2 hours to do what they want. I get back up to the room and start making noise outside the door, and then I open the door up slowly….and then when the door is fully open I hear the smackin’ of lips, and the buckling of belts…great seems like I just walked in on something. So I jet out of there quickly and re-visit PALE. Then while talking to PALE I see someone who is much more type, and I want to talk to him, but I’m like nah I’ll fall back and if I see them later on I’ll talk to them. So I listen to o the incessant draining talking, and flirting, of PALE, before out the corner of my eye I see autha walk expeditiously out of the hotel. So then I excuse myself and then I finally go up to my room….That was my Thursday