Wise & Young

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Gold's in DC

Since I started my new job in DC, I have a new schedule, I wake up, get into the office around 8:30 am from Baltimore no less, get off of around 5:30 and then go to the gym, take a shower, and catch the 8:40 back to Baltimore, and go to sleep around 11:00 or 11:30 pm. While this new schedule does not leave much time for the after work happy hours, and dates during the week (like I had any damn prospects at all), I have been entertained by the antics, actions, and clothing choices worn by the gym bunnies.
Gym bunnies are these buff guys who the gym not only serves as a place to improve their bodies but also a quasi fashion show, club, cruise, and happy hour all in one. Now, I will admit that I am not the friendliest person in the gym, mainly because I am really focused and determined to get my body to a certain level. The most I usually say is I’ll ask a question of someone usually not a means to open up communication but rather because I am trying to learn something. But just because my mouth is closed does not mean I don’t see the interactions between everyone. I go to Golds in Midtown DC, called Midtown. Let me tell you, them queens hold court their NIGHTLY. I used to think Bally’s on L street was bad, but damn these white gym bunnies switch harder than a little bit, wear the most revealing clothing, half the time I want to ask where in Faggot-ville did you pick up a one piece lycra/spandex one piece that fits in the crack of your ass. For instance the first day I was there I see this big old gal, to his credit he is definitely built and should be extremely proud of what they accomplished, but he has an ass like a black man SHOULD have and he was wearing those tight ass pants that I was shocked like DAYUM. I wanted to throw a towel around his waist and tell him to go back and change. Now, he is one of those white men who loves black men, how do I know you ask? Because he makes a point to talk to EVERY Black queen with a body in the gym, it’s actually pretty funny to see in action is like he has a radar sensor on the ready for any built black queen.
But the black bunnies are just as bad, half of them try to be “DL” but they really don’t succeed. I mean wearing timbs, sweats, and other urban clothing may fool the untrained eye, but when you open your mouth and a Louis Vinton clutch bag falls out. Or when Beyonce comes on, you can see a look a fear in their eyes as they fight the instinctive urge to start booty popping. But if they aren’t acting like they are on the DL, then they are the type of Black men who live in DuPont Circle. For those who don’t know the only type of Black gay man who lives in DuPont are the types that love White men, who will look at your cross even when you do the obligatory head nod, and they will avoid interactions with anyone who is Black because they fear its “contagious” or some shit. But let a white man come around, they will go out of their way to speak, talk, shuck and jive, and extols the beauty of a white cock. Those “brothers”, yes they still are no matter what they want you to believe, are pretty funny as well because when you see two together they will act like the other doesn’t exist but when a white man comes in their line of vision, its like a showdown in some old TV western where they will eye each other down and try to be the first own to speak to their white Adonis. All I can do is laugh and shake my head.
All of this pales in comparison to what happens in the sauna…. The sauna itself is no bigger than walk in closet, and it’s amazing what happens there. I have walked in on men jacking off, jacking other men off, all sorts of foreplay, but thankfully never anal. What is really funny about it is that the guys who do these types of activities in the sauna are never on the workout floor. Ironically if they were on the workout floor they probably would not need to be in the sauna ogling another man’s crotch with a desire and lust unparallel. But then again this is DC, so what do I expect?

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  • Okay, so none of this stuff ever happens at my gym during the hours that I go. I work out in the morning from about 5:30am to 7:30am so I see all of the senior citizens. I do, however, enjoy the eye candy that is there when I have to work out in the afternoon from time to time.

    I keep hearing about all of these stories. I do wish I could experience something like this at least once.

    By Anonymous kennyking78, at 3:40 AM  

  • This would be why I work out at home - every man in DC spends half their days cruising for dick and ass. It's tired and annoying.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:38 PM  

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