To be Black & a Man

A friend and I were talking the other day about what it means not only to be a man, but what it means to be black adult. This is to say that being a Black adult is different than being a White, or Asian one, or any other minority. Yes there may be similarities but certain issues, concerns, modes of interaction, and behavior are strictly culturally relevant to the Black experience. Likewise the same can be said of being a man, especially a black man, certain things are expected and need to be done.

Double consciousness is something that Black adults have to know how to navigate, and we are taught at a very young age no matter what social class you are from that you certain things depending on the situation. One of those is never degrade your people when you are not around your people. This comes from the idea that we need to present a united front against those who would misconstrue our words & say “SEE! We were right Rakim even said it”. Now, around your own people, you can degrade, joke, say damn near anything vicious because its “in-house” per se. Another is speech, so many of us, again regardless of class have two voices sometimes disguised as our “professional voice” code for “white voice” and “natural voice” code for “black voice” which not only encompasses pitch, and vocabulary. One instance which sticks out for me when it was blatantly evident, was one my high school friend’s dad was a professor at a local HBCU, and one day I called to speak to him, and he picked up the phone sounding very proper and talking through his nose. The minute he realized it was me, this NEGRO switched up so hard and quick I looked at the phone and my face was chopped and screwed, man his voice dropped down past his diaphragm, and with it the proper speech. I promise you he started talking in some English that my usually ghetto-attuned ears couldn’t comprehend. It got so bad I saw Mr.________; I can’t understand what you’re saying. He just laughed and lightened up on the slave speech. Unfortunately I think that another trait of being a Black adult is being highly suspicious of our government and science in particular. Partly this is because neither government nor science has had the best track record with our population, another part is being American that there is general distrust of government. But I mean after slavery, lynchings, flat our racism, the slaying of civil rights leaders, defacto racism, crack being pumped into the inner city by our government, etc… can you blame us? Science has not faired much better.

As being a man, especially a black man, I would like to know what other people think what that entails. I’ve opened up the comments so that ANYONE CAN POST, without signing up. I encourage you all to look those standards that you use, to measure a man. Does masculinity and effeminacy really play a role in how much of a man someone is? Is a masculine man with three kids by different women and he does not take care of them, who has the deepest voice, and swaggers with the best of them, plays football, and basketball. Is he more of a man than the limp wrist switching lisp having archetype effeminate man? What does being a man mean to you? Do those same standards apply to anyone, and then apply them to people you know and don’t know and see those who actually fits those standards you may be surprised at what you find.