To be Black, Gay, and Frat?!?!?!?!?!!?

Recently, I was invited to this discussion that I found the topic to be interesting “Homosexuality in Black Fraternities”. My initial impression was that not too many straight men would really go to this event if nothing else simply because they would not have too much to say, or didn’t even want to be seen going to that event. To my surprise, the majority of the audience, albeit small, was presumably straight, not b/c of mannerisms but due to the tone, and type of questions that were posed. Rashid was moderating the event, and this one guy through his line of questioning insinuated that gay men & women mainly come through graduate/alumni chapters and yes there are a few gay men “who slip through the cracks” of undergrad but mainly the homosexual man comes through via the alumni/graduate chapters of Black Greek Letter Organizations (BGLO’s). Now the whole time while this was going on, I was quiet, one because I arrived using my C.P. watch, and two b/c it was just too damn hot of a topic for me to be all that involved with.
But when he said “slipped through the cracks” I chuckled, because the guy did have a point, graduate chapters tend not to place that much emphasis on sexual preference. Yet, I did chuckle because the vast majority of black gay men & women I know pledged/hazed/ went underground/etc. In fact one of my lb’s is effeminate, but that bruh is thorough with his, and in many aspects had to deal with more shit than others simple b/c they did pick with him more so, under the guise of trying to “man him up”. Hell, in every org there are those chapters that are known for having an unusually high percentage of gay/bisexual folks to have crossed through that chapter. I can think of one off the top of my head, where my number (someone who says my same number) and sands (someone who crossed during the year and season as myself) is gay. In fact his chapter is widely known for that, but they go hard, and very few are effeminate, or the stereotypical “fag”, well with the exception of being able to step their asses off.
After that topic was sort of dealt with, but not really, somehow all these guys started to refer to J.L. King’s book about the Down Low. Now, I’m need for J.L. King to be my new benefactor because he must have ranked some serious cash. HEY J.L. holla @ me I got a new idea for your next book that you can write, it’s called the Down Low Sell Out. Anyway, there seemed to be some genuine concern about Black men who engage in unprotected sex with men and women, and passing on HIV to unknowing partners. Unfortunately, this is the day and age we live in, goin’ raw with anyone you take your chances, and those guys who refuse to wear a condom for b/c of the lack of sensation or its “too small” (yea right) here’s a tip. Go to your local freak store, and get some ultra thin condoms, that are FDA approved, meaning they still have to provide the same level of support, as regular condoms, and if really want to do it up, go and get the ones are ribbed on the inside and outside, as to simulate sex w/o a condom. Yes it costs more, but you pay for what you get. But I digress….it goes back to folks just needing to take responsibility for their bodies. If your going to cheat, you must use protection, b/c not using protection is a sure fire way of getting caught once something is passed onto you to your committed partner. What was sad was that a lot of guys still seem to think that the main way that people are getting HIV in the black community is from bisexual men who then infect women who then go on to affect other men.
No one really discussed the idea of black masculinity and effeminacy and would guys in frats be okay if their lb was gay but “a man’s man” as opposed to the stereotypical reed-thin limp wristed man?

Just my thoughts….

T.E.R.P.S. update

A post or two ago, I informed anyone who read about this new plan of mine, called TERPS, which is an acronym for Travel, Economics, Relationships, Physical, and Spiritual five pronged plan of operation that I devised in order to achieve my ultimate goal, to be the best person I can be on all fronts. So I have been diligently working to make sure I definitely do the best I can to achieve these goals.
First let me start with Travel, the end goal of my travel is to go to Bahian Heat in 07, with a trip to someplace outside of my metro area at least once every other month. As far as a status update, I went to Hampton Roads for a family emergency, I’ll get into that later. I have saved my first 100 towards my Bahian trip, and it looks like I will be going to NYC in August. This plan may have to be changed due to my next topic….
Economics, this is area is where I have focused a lot of my energy to as of late. I got a financial advisor, with Waddell and Reed. I was referred to him by my boy B.I.T. Baller In Training, who I promise you all will make more money than a little bit sooner than you would believe. But I digress, one thing that the advisor told me was to have a option day, which is the day when you do not have to work anymore and can live comfortably on your investments. Mine is my April 20, 2017, my 35th birthday. We also talked about my plan to own residential property before my 25th birthday, and how I plan to use my retirement money to finance some of the costs associated with the home buying process. Also, I got pre-approved for a home loan, that is financed with Fannie Mae, and I signed an exclusivity contract with a realtor I met . He is sure that he can find me something in the DC area for 180k or less, I was approved for a lot more than that, but I still want to be able to live and save money, by October, I have a deadline of April 20th, so I am not in a huge rush, but I still want to do this in an expeditious manner.
Relationships, I had a family emergency that required me to come home, only 8 hours earlier than I expected. In a way it was good, it help cement bonds with people I care about. I have distanced myself away from a good deal of people I know, and bloggers mainly because I wasn’t getting anything from having those people in my life at all. I did go out to the Bachelors Mill on Saturday, b/c I didn’t feel like being bothered in the too packed, hot as all hell Delta. But to my surprise, the Mill had a long ass line when I went there! I was pretty shocked because it wasn’t what I excepted. Needless to say, it was packed in there, granted there were fine ass men, but for the past few weeks I haven’t had the urge, or desire to really meet people. I’m on some Greta Garbo “I want to be left alone”. It’s gotten so bad that, I’ve actually developed tunnel vision in areas where there are too many guys. Its like sensory overload too many niggas and I just don’t really see anyone, its hard to explain but I know it must be common in DC. That would explain why every time I stand someplace people are constantly bumping into me, and stepping on my shoes.
Physical, I was doing really well going 4x a week, eating right, the whole nine. But after the family emergency happened I felt both emotionally, and physically drained. So last week I didn’t go to the gym. But on Monday I went, instead of doing 40 mins of cardio I did 15, and yesterday I didn’t go altogether. This is why I need a work out partner, if I knew I had to meet someone at the gym I would go. As far as the personal trainer goes, I may have to hold off on that, and instead put that towards the building fund, but I haven’t decided yet. But if anyone here wants a work out partner and you’re a member of Gold’s Gym HIT ME UP!!!!
Spiritual, last week I got the word, from a church a soror of mine attends. I don’t know if that’ll be my home church or not, but I will go to another church this Sunday. Any suggestions?


Just my thoughts