Tim Tim Milan Interview

Tim Tim is officially hot right now. Having been awarded Vogue Fem “Of the Year” and Butch Queen Overall Vogue “Of the Year” this past New York Awards ball, 2006 Vogue Fem of the Year in Philly, and 2005 Vogue Fem of the Year in Atlanta, Tim Tim is on fire. With these accolades, and grand prizes under his belt, I had no intention of Tim Tim Milan agreeing to an interview with someone who he never met. Imagine the surprise I had when he did. After drafting up my list of questions for the subject like I always do prior to the interview, I began thinking, will Tim Tim have an attitude that would make interviewing him a regrettable task, as you can see optimism is not my strong suit. Instead of the arrogant Vogue Diva with plenty of awards under his belt, I found myself talking to a guy who was friendly, warm, and down to earth. A guy who has not let any of success color how he views himself, and how he interacts with others. Tim Tim came across as the type of guy every mother wishes her daughter would date.
Tim Tim Milan got introduced to voguing while living in Detroit, going to the clubs there he would see people voguing. Later while in Atlanta, he would see greats like Andre Mizrahi and Armani Milan voguing in clubs and was interested in the art form from that point on. But starting in the ballroom scene was difficult, Tim Tim started to walk in 2000, by Tim Tim’s own admission, “I constantly gotten chopped four straight balls, and I was about to quit, but my friends said no one gets its straight off to bat.” Which is great advice not only applicable to the Ballroom scene but to life as well.

Similarly to the perseverance to keep voguing in the beginning, Tim Tim also had to be persistent on finding the right house for him. “I’ve been a Milan was two years, first house was the House of Mizrahi, I was an Ebony also. For the longest time, all my friends were Milans, and that’s where my family was, why not go with your family?” Which leads to an interesting question I pose to Tim Tim, how important is what house you’re in dictate your level of success in the ballroom scene. “Before I came to the house of Milan I had a name but not as much as now. I’m not saying it takes away from your House; it will push you to step up to push your performance. I want to be one of the best of my House. You expect more in certain house. Some houses they have standard and you have to uphold that standard.”

This type of common sense is evident even when Tim Tim discusses why he thinks those who vogue soft cunt, have an advantage over dramatics, “a lot of the Dramatic are just throwing themselves… When I think of Dramatic I think of Pony [Zion], Desahuan [Evisu] or Mystery Dior. [But] the majority of them have not mastered dramatic.” Seeing that Tim Tim has a history of success I asked him his plans for the upcoming POCC and Latex Ball. “I never walked a Latex Ball, I don’t think the POCC ball is any different, from any other ball, I still get nervous and put the same amount of energy into it. It’s a highlight to have made that list. You have reached the elite of the category, it meant to a lot to make it. I am going to put 100% effort.” From there I ask Tim Tim to give me his take of the Star, Statement, and Legend echelons:

Star: Probably been out 1-3 years, making a name for themselves, making their impact their getting their 10’s won a couple of 10s known in their area.

Statement: [Been out for] 3-6 years, when that person steps on the floor no matter where they are you know who they are. When they call that category your looking for them, they are consistent and they have won, you are going to see them innovate and help them mold the category.

Legend: [Walking for] 6-8 years, A legend is someone who made their mark in their category, have beaten people on the floor, and have set the category for the kids to follow.

Tim Tim has become a statement a force to be recognized in the realm of Vogue Fem. It would be easy for someone to take his accolades and use them to inflate a faltering ego. Instead, Tim Tim comes off as an easy going guy that has a deep appreciation and love for the art of voguing. This appreciation can be seen when vogues and the judges recognize this as well. What the future holds for Tim Tim Milan is unknown, but he is already walking the path of success.

Word Association Game

Sheldon Khan Who?

Soft Cunt Prince Milan, Ricky Allure, Kiddy Aga, Marquise Revlon, Jlo ex Allure,

and Terrel Ebony

Dramatics Pony Deshaun Mystery Dior Kassandra Ebony,

Shade Bitter people; losing when you’re not supposed to

Family Caring, loving, dependable

Good Judies Andre Aga, Foxy Milan, Lil Tony Milan, I have more but I’ll be going all day.

Tim Tim Milan in Action

For those who are going to leave comments: The comments section will be left open, criticism are okay, personal attacks, and vulgarity will not be tolerated, comments that display the aforementioned will be deleted.

Ballroom Interview: Legend Milan Chanel

In 1996 a young gay black male enters a world that he never knew of and attending what he thinks is a “modeling” showcase. This scene is played time and time again at nearly every ball; the only difference here is that unlike other young men this one is Milan. That night he wins face, from that point a Vogue Fem Legend was in the making, name Milan Chanel.



After attending that first ball in Chicago with Lee Milan, over the years Milan Chanel has not only earned the status of Legend, but has also thrown successful balls in years past such as the 2006 Midwest Awards ball with over 700 attendees, and help put the Chicago ballroom scene on par with cities like New York, Atlanta, and Washington, D.C. But not without his share of trials and tribulations, having been in seven houses, dealing with being a minority within a minority, and how he began voguing all this happening in a short run in the long walk of Milan Chanel life.

Vogue Fem is arguably the category most closely linked with the Ballroom scene. It seems that everyone has a different story as to how they started Voguing. When posed this question to Milan, he stated that “I became interested in the art of voguing the precision, the mechanism, in Chicago voguing is the highlight [of the ball]”. But at first Milan started off dramatic but was criticized for his lack of femininity, an integral part of Voguing Fem. It was not until later did he tap into the feminine aspect of voguing. Which brought up an interesting duality, with dramatics it seems to be about the marriage of the dramatic style’s more masculine aspects of voguing with the felinity or the “cunt” per se of the art of vogue. Marrying these two opposites is a skill mastered by Milan, and one that he has taught to other Vogue Fem divas including “Kiddy, Berlin, Renaldo, Jailo, and Skittles”.

Recently, Milan went from House Mother of Manolo-Blahnik to Father of Chanel, when asked why he went from Mother to Father and how that fluidity in gender is part in parcel with the Ballroom scene. Milan stated that “When I was growing up, I thought b/c I walked to Vogue Fem, I had to be a mother, and had to tap into the more feminine [parts] and conform to that… People who walk face or vogue fem are the more feminine ones”. This may be one of the reasons why the larger African-American/Latino GLBT community stirred those in the Ballroom scene due to masculinity or machismo being held in high regard, while anything remotely close to feminine or actions thereof are rejected. In the Ballroom scene both masculinity and femininity are both celebrated and embraced. I posed the question to Milan Chanel about the reason why so many outside of the scene recoil and shy away from balls, and ballroom patrons. Expecting an answer akin to “can’t take”, “don’t understand the scene”, I was surprised to hear what came next. “With the exception of a few people, like Tony Milan, Jay Manolo-Blahnik…pretty good reasons, ballroom homosexuals usually [are] stunt queens, escorts, prostitutes, 8 out of 10, usually don’t have their head on straight.” At first this is stunning admission, but upon reflecting of who is usually involved in the ballroom scene, many have been rejected from their families and/or society and are not given the opportunities to gain the skills necessary to earn a living, educational advancements, and are often not shown a world where you can be Black, Gay, and Successful outside of the ballroom scene.

From there the conversation switches gears and I ask about Houses, and how important Houses are to ballroom scene. Houses are akin to Fraternities or Sororities in the National Pan-Hellenic Council, with each House having various chapters and each chapter having a more family or more ballroom competition focus. I ask Milan how important House affiliation is to your success within the ballroom scene. Milan recounts when he first came to Atlanta, and at his first three balls he was chopped, but after changing to a more established house, “nothing changed the first 13 balls he walked he won in a row”. I ask about house hopping and how many houses Milan has been a part of, to my knowledge it was three, the first house Milan, the house of Manolo-Blahnik where he was Mother, and recently Chanel where he is currently Father. I was taken aback when Milan said seven. Below is a recount of which houses and the reason he left:

Milan: Started with Stanley something happened within the House putting Stanley out and putting Don Milan in the House, which started controversy. But when Chicago went to the Milan Ball, they wouldn’t allow us to walk the Grand March, which was the last straw.

Ovahness: Started the House at 17 yrs old, in Chicago. But when Milan went to Atlanta to attend Morehouse the house floundered and was too difficult to be mother from afar, and walking under the banner of new house Ovahness when he was the only one in the Atlanta area.

Chanel: This change came about due to Milan’s desire to be in an established house, apart from that, Milan nothing changed except that the first 13 balls he walked he won in a row as a Chanel. Coming back to Chicago, Chanel and didn’t want him want to be Mother or Father of the chapter so he left.

Ferre: Started the House of Ferre, but the members only wanted to be a Midwest house and not travel, which did not fit the ideas that Milan had for the House.

Ebony: Then came Milan’s Ebony tenure which wasn’t the best but joined because Berlin was his child, but after two years with them Milan became changing. Changing into a mentality that he did not like seeing himself evolving into, so Milan knew it was time for a change.

Manolo-Blahnik: Jay Manolo-Blahnik, talked to Milan “best decision” learned a lot, hold them in high regard. Towards the end things started to fall apart, power struggle within the house. After Pony left, it was nothing like it used to be.

Chanel: Milan then returned to Chanel, as Father, which for him has the best balance of family and ballroom scene.

Milan has accomplished so much as winning Chicago’s Finest, Vogue Fem of the Year 1998-chicago ;1999-chicago-detroit;2000-chicago-detroit;2001-chicago-detroit-atlanta
;2002 chicago;2003-chicago-atlanta, and countless grand prizes. What the future holds for Milan is unknown but if his past achievements are any indication, then we can except Milan to be inventive and help mold Vogue Fem for years to come.

As the last part of the interview I played a word association game with Milan Chanel

Word Association:

Walk for me Wednesdays Shade, all around

House of Zion Up and coming

Vogue Fem Amazing

Legend Too many none deserving

Judges Panel Set ups

Leyomi Mizrahi Amazing

Favorite Category to watch Fem Queen Performance

Status Something that should be earned not given

Nasty Battles of Milan Legendary Vogue Fem

When I see You

So now that I’m working in DC more, my eyes that were starved of eye candy in Baltimore are now getting their full. In fact I rekindled a crush that I had started in 2004. Three years later I saw him in Union Station waiting for the Red line metro, and its crazy I still don’t know if he gets down. I can’t tell if I am picking up signs or just seeing what I want to see. I don’t know his name and I don’t even think I’ve ever said more than five words to him. Let’s go back to how this started.

After I graduated from college in 04, I started to work the 9-5 and I got bored, because after 5 pm I didn’t have anything to do. While in undergrad I was usually busy from when I woke up to about 11 pm easily, between classes, RA duties, club activities, and internship and/or job. To go from that to just a 9-5 was a big shift, so I looked for other things to do. I did not have any money to go out and take classes, but my job offered a reduced membership at Bally’s. While in undergrad I had very brief flirtations with going to the gym, sometimes they included me walking into the gym at school looking around and leaving. Other times I would just run, and then a few times I would actually work out. But after really learning about the gay life, and how having a body of some sort that was defined in shape was almost a necessity unless you were a Bear, I decided to go to the gym.

So I signed up, read information online about different routines, the proper way to do certain exercises, and then I started to go to the gym. Now, I did not go the gym after work because I had heard about the activities that happened in the locker room and I wanted to stay far from it. Thusly I would work out before work, and that is when I saw them, the Swoletwins.

There were two, not just one but two. Two amazingly chiseled chocolate black men, that I felt if I had stared at them too long my eyes would get diabetes because over load of eye candy. One was tall, the other short, both had the epitome of the build for their respective body types. It was intimidating being around men who were extremely well put together, and then day after day, I would see them naked. Not in my dreams, but in reality, since we all showered together, over the course of six months I worked out there, I saw them naked countless times. After about month two, it was no big deal. All the time while working out, going to the sauna, and showering together I think I may have said a sentence to them if that. Why didn’t I speak, low self esteem, shy, unbothered, or scared? I honestly don’t know I just never did.

Fast forward to the present, I have seen my crush, the short chocolate one, on numerous occasions by now. I guess the first time I was saw him again was while I was walking to the Union Station metro station and I saw this guy who had a broad back and locks and thought well, from the back he’s attractive. As I made my way to the station platform, I saw his face and realized it was the short swoletwin. Then it started, I think at the instance that’s when I developed my crush, or maybe it was lying dormant before, and was resurrected. But now I realize that he lives in Baltimore, because he rides the same train as I do to get into Union Station.

Oh shit, while I’m writing this, guess who just sat down in front of me on the Marc train…none other than my crush. What were my first reaction; a blank, then a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach which is still there. Well he’s on his phone, so I’m safe. I don’t’ know why I feel this way because it’s not like me. For awhile now I have seen and been around handsome and attractive men but never felt anything, for some reason I do with this guy.

The next part of this is the tricky and sticky part; I don’t if he’s gay or straight. I keep getting mixed signals. The first sign is that he worked out at Bally’s on L st. But he worked out in the morning and not in the evening when the girls come out to play. Then one time I saw him with Bath & Body Works, and even saw him with Jean Paul Gautier’s L’Homme cologne, which is very gay or metrosexual. Another thing he’s workout partner, the tall Swoletwin, I saw him at the Mill. So is he gay because his workout partner is gay? If so, would explain the fact that while looking on facebook I came across a photo of him and some girl hugged up together. Granted I wasn’t there but I don’t know what that means as far as his sexuality.

What should I do? It’s hard to strike up a conversation with someone before 8 am, when they are plugged into their Ipod, and frequently are wearing sunglasses. Any suggestions?

Ballroom Interview: Sheldon Khan

It’s Friday and I have just entered Union Station on my way home, and I’m looking for a place to sit, and then it happens. I see this young guy with a familiar face, but I have never met this guy, for a second I stand there looking really strange trying to place a face with a name. Then it hits me, its Sheldon Khan, the guy who I have seen Vogue Fem at the Evisu Ball, Inauguration Ball, and the House of Starr Ball. After introducing myself, and seeing that Sheldon Khan is really a nice guy I ask him if I can interview him for my blog, to which he agrees. What occurred first was a guarded conversation that becomes increasingly more candid about status, his house, life, and of course the Ballroom scene in general.

Sheldon first learned about the ballroom scene and voguing when he was active in SMYAL, a group dedicated to helping sexual minority youth. After some friends taught him the elements, duck walking, cat walking, hands, dips, and spins, Sheldon was hooked on learning, and mastering the category called Vogue Fem. In 2004, he made his debut at the Ebony Ball, and was unceremoniously chopped. But after that, he decided to come back and slay. Slaying has been what Sheldon has done to the competition ever since his first ball, earning the status of Statement, one step away from Legendary.

There is a peaceful and scene nature that surrounds Sheldon who when I met him was on his way to hang out with a few friends in Baltimore, which is a rare vibe to get from any 22 year old. It could be attributed to the fact that by his own admonishment Sheldon isn’t one for ballroom politics. “People think I’m shady, because when I come to a ball I’m there to compete”, unlike some people who use the ballroom scene to get vindication. When asked if he has any kids, or is the child of anyone in the ballroom scene, a deadpanned faced Sheldon responds succinctly “No”, which may be a reason why people really think he’s shady.

But being allegedly shady does not stop people from approaching him and talking to him. In a quasi-celebrity state Sheldon resides, where he has met the likes of Nicole Ray, Eve from "BET’s You’ve got Style", and Janet Jackson. Those who are involved in the ballroom scene as competitors or spectators will come and speak, sometimes to talk about the ballroom scene, Vogue Fem, but then there are also the times where allegedly straight men come and speak, about what well one can only imagine.

Throughout the conversation Sheldon came across as not necessarily a loner, but very independent, and treats the Ballroom scene as a gay hobby, which made me ask him, why did he become a Khan, why not just say a free agent? “It felt right, I fit what they were looking for, and fits me basically”, but that did not mean that at first some of his own house members didn’t see him, and he had to prove himself to them. Which he has done by being consistent, and bringing it to every battle, unfortunately the more he improved the more people that he had as friends, started to turn their backs. Some accused Sheldon of changing, others were jealous he was getting as much attention as he was, and other relationships just ran its course as they have a tendency to do in life.

What to expect from Sheldon Khan, think POCC. To keep anticipation high, I will not reveal Sheldon’s performance, but I promise from what he tells me, his competitors really need to step up their game. Sheldon is coming to provide the crowd something that people are yearning to see, creativity, and synergy. To close out the interview Sheldon and I played word association that was neither scripted nor edited.



Tim Tim Milan..................................................... Not too fond of the performance

Ayanna Khan...................................................... Beautiful

Realness with a Twist....................................... Anthony Balenciaga, he’s cool cool

Shade................................................................Derrick Allure

Judges Panel.....................................................Rigged

Deshaun Evisu.................................................Thumbs Up

POCC Ball.........................................................Fantastic

Living in DC.....................................................Getting old

Here are examples of the Shelton Khan's performance

I don't use Mr. Keith Boykin

I don’t use Keith Boykin at all. Now before I go further, I have never met him so I am not talking about him personally but the public persona of Keith Boykin that I have seen speak, his television experiences, and the website that bears his name, and articles. In my estimation he’s just another BQ that has positioned himself to be the Al Sharpton of the B GLBT community. In other words a self appointed mouthpiece that the media, and those outside of the community call on to speak about all issues that are Black and GLBT, that people in the community at best marginally agree with. Let me explain how I got to this point.

While I was studying at my alma mater, for a class we were commissioned to listen to a speech by a either a visiting lecturer or someone coming to campus for the GLBT four week celebration. During this time period I was on the debate team, and grappling with the idea that I was Black and Gay so I decided to go to one of the GLBT events. There was one event that really spoke to me, it had a Black male face attached, some guy named Keith Boykin, and so I decided to go the event. I went and I was a bit interested to hear what this guy had to say.

Well I went and I left feeling like I just read a paper. His presentation style at the time, was a bit dry and academic, there was no real relating what he was saying to people in the audience. But that was my introduction to this guy, a very well educated man with great credentials who to me seemed like an obvious leader of BGLBT rights and knowledge. So I found out about his website and checked it periodically. Nothing about it really struck me out of turn or profoundly different. After awhile I got bored, and I started dealing more with my life, and got profoundly involved in pledging HARD, and all things Greek.

Then around 2005 DC pride I started to check his page and read what was going on in the community. Then maybe it was me, but I realized that his site seemed to be a shrine to himself. Now a lot of people’s sites, blogs, and etc are very narcissistic but most of those sites do not promote themselves as a leader either explicitly stated or implied, of the BGLBT community. Around this same time, I stole a copy of a book from a pigeon toed, bow legged size 17 shoe 6’0 Iota, and read it. I agreed with many of his arguments in the book but at the same time, he made critical errors, such as placing the blame the sharp increase of Black women infected with HIV to Black women and not the Black community because in all honesty it takes two. You can’t spread the virus to yourself. But then even in the book when a Black woman confronted him about the increase, he showed no remorse and even in the book his tone seemed callous and flippant to this person. I was pretty shocked by this because this was a critical error any leader could make, how can you try to teach people both inside and outside of the community about such a highly sensitive issue without respecting that and treating that carefully. Then there were the ad hominem slights to J.L. King who wrote the insanely popular and controversial book about living on the “Down Low”. After reading seeing this I started to become more careful of what I read and saw from Mr. Boykin.

After turning my critical eyes to Mr. Boykin I came up with the idea that he is positioning himself to try to become not only the singular Black GLBT source that the media feels comfortable going to for any sound bites, but also a celebrity in his own right. There is nothing wrong with seeking fame, but there is something wrong when you fleece the community that you proclaim yourself to be, in order to do so. What do I mean by fleecing the community? I mean that you jump on every issue and state your opinion on it, without first truly learning about the situation, and giving a haphazard 10 second sound bite that sounds great without much thought.

A few situations I can think of have occurred when he did this. One was when Don Amechi came out and Mr. Boykin applauded him for doing so, and then urging more closeted NBA and NFL athletes to come out. This assumed that just because you have not told the public that you are gay or bisexual does not assume that you are closeted. Even by Mr. Boykin’s own admission coming out is a process that you are never really fully finished. So who is saying that some of these athletes have not come out to the people who are important to them? Its not shade to any team, but your team mates are just like co-workers especially if you don’t know if you are going to traded, or your contract is going to be renewed why tell all of our co-workers about your sexual habits? How many people do this?

Another situation is when Mr. Boykin had a campaign to combat homophobic preachers by pseudo-outing preachers on his site. This to me was done purely to sensationalize and cause controversy only. Never did he come out with any credible information but called for people to send him information. Now let’s think about this, if you are closeted and you are grappling with your religious upbringing and your sexuality do you think that someone potentially ruining your professional life, and your credibility in a community where you may be doing well is going to urge you to change your ways? Even the threat to do so was extremely in poor taste, why not go and sit down with these leaders and talk to biblical scholars who can have an intellectual discussion about the Bible who can go back and forth and maybe learn something or at least come back with a different manner of putting forth the message but in a way that may be better for those in congregation that are GLBT.

Even with the most recent Cocodorm controversy, Mr. Boykin was quick to denounce Flavalife for same reasons that the mainstream has criticized the company. The whole “not in my neitbhorhood has been the same rational for restrictive housing covenants that kept people of color out of certain neighborhoods, and also White flight that many urban cities are still suffering from. Then that are underlying issues with the story that have not been looked at, and as a commentator on the Black GBLT community Mr. Boykin should have taken the time to discuss. This is a blatant case of someone or a competitor intently alerting people to create a furor, who else would send copies of the site, a DVD, and print out of the website to the media and to neighboring homes. In my opinion this thoughtful analysis was not done on the issue due to the fact that it dealt with Gay pornography and Gay men’s unfading fascination, issues that remind the general public that Gay and Black people are not these eunuchs like creatures makes many straight people feel very uncomfortable. For someone positioning themselves to become a celebrity issues dealing uncomfortably close with Gay sex is something that would wanted to be avoided.

There is nothing wrong with evolving, changing, and making moves that in your estimation could change your life in a positive manner such as gaining publicity and the success thereof. But there is something inherently wrong with exploiting a group that needs help, offering yourself as a leader but only touching dealing with issues that would sound great in a 30 second news clip. The B GBLT community has a variety of issues that intermix issues that affect Blacks and People of Color and also Gays. Some of these issues are more clearly cut than others, but the community is desperate for leaders who are not out there to be contemporary carpetbaggers there for personal gain. This is how I see the actions of Mr. Boykin. It’s no shade, though.

Gold's in DC

Since I started my new job in DC, I have a new schedule, I wake up, get into the office around 8:30 am from Baltimore no less, get off of around 5:30 and then go to the gym, take a shower, and catch the 8:40 back to Baltimore, and go to sleep around 11:00 or 11:30 pm. While this new schedule does not leave much time for the after work happy hours, and dates during the week (like I had any damn prospects at all), I have been entertained by the antics, actions, and clothing choices worn by the gym bunnies.
Gym bunnies are these buff guys who the gym not only serves as a place to improve their bodies but also a quasi fashion show, club, cruise, and happy hour all in one. Now, I will admit that I am not the friendliest person in the gym, mainly because I am really focused and determined to get my body to a certain level. The most I usually say is I’ll ask a question of someone usually not a means to open up communication but rather because I am trying to learn something. But just because my mouth is closed does not mean I don’t see the interactions between everyone. I go to Golds in Midtown DC, called Midtown. Let me tell you, them queens hold court their NIGHTLY. I used to think Bally’s on L street was bad, but damn these white gym bunnies switch harder than a little bit, wear the most revealing clothing, half the time I want to ask where in Faggot-ville did you pick up a one piece lycra/spandex one piece that fits in the crack of your ass. For instance the first day I was there I see this big old gal, to his credit he is definitely built and should be extremely proud of what they accomplished, but he has an ass like a black man SHOULD have and he was wearing those tight ass pants that I was shocked like DAYUM. I wanted to throw a towel around his waist and tell him to go back and change. Now, he is one of those white men who loves black men, how do I know you ask? Because he makes a point to talk to EVERY Black queen with a body in the gym, it’s actually pretty funny to see in action is like he has a radar sensor on the ready for any built black queen.
But the black bunnies are just as bad, half of them try to be “DL” but they really don’t succeed. I mean wearing timbs, sweats, and other urban clothing may fool the untrained eye, but when you open your mouth and a Louis Vinton clutch bag falls out. Or when Beyonce comes on, you can see a look a fear in their eyes as they fight the instinctive urge to start booty popping. But if they aren’t acting like they are on the DL, then they are the type of Black men who live in DuPont Circle. For those who don’t know the only type of Black gay man who lives in DuPont are the types that love White men, who will look at your cross even when you do the obligatory head nod, and they will avoid interactions with anyone who is Black because they fear its “contagious” or some shit. But let a white man come around, they will go out of their way to speak, talk, shuck and jive, and extols the beauty of a white cock. Those “brothers”, yes they still are no matter what they want you to believe, are pretty funny as well because when you see two together they will act like the other doesn’t exist but when a white man comes in their line of vision, its like a showdown in some old TV western where they will eye each other down and try to be the first own to speak to their white Adonis. All I can do is laugh and shake my head.
All of this pales in comparison to what happens in the sauna…. The sauna itself is no bigger than walk in closet, and it’s amazing what happens there. I have walked in on men jacking off, jacking other men off, all sorts of foreplay, but thankfully never anal. What is really funny about it is that the guys who do these types of activities in the sauna are never on the workout floor. Ironically if they were on the workout floor they probably would not need to be in the sauna ogling another man’s crotch with a desire and lust unparallel. But then again this is DC, so what do I expect?

Black Dick

America was always been afraid of the Black dick, and the mythical sexual prowess that comes with it. The sexual powers of the Black dick have been the reason for many of the lynching that occurred in the early part of the 20th century. Many times the accusation of looking at white women was enough to lose your life; Emmett Till is a powerful example. Another example is the Florida town that was destroyed all due to the false accusation of a white woman who said she was raped by a Black dick. The Scottsboro case is another case that in the early part of the 20th century again brought up the fears many Americans have about Black dick. Even today Black dicks continue to cause controversy, in the 80’s Bobby Brown was jailed for making obscene moves on stage. Now juxtapose what Brown was doing on stage with what any of the Rock Bands of the time that positioned their guitar was a large phallus, or even as the female counterpart to their own male sexual organ.
This fear of the Black dick can even be seen in the recent Cocodorm controversy. A quick overview of what happening is that the media along with some of the members in a residential Miami neighborhood were anonymously mailed packets containing a DVD; print out from the Cocodorm website, and the address of its current house. Now everyone is up in arms, about this sex house in a residential neighborhood. Within days of the initial story the police, health inspectors, and other codes people came to shut the house down, or rather what was happening in the house.
Let’s think about this, prior to this story coming out of the news not one of the neighbors knew of what was going on, had any indication of what happened in the house. They only become alarmed when they found out that numerous Black dicks were having sex with each other. This again speaks to America’s fear of Black dick. Now let us look at what was happening in the home, it was sex, sex that happened on a timed regular basis. Planned and orchestrated sex. Now let’s think, does this not happen in residential neighborhoods, how many people have sex a certain times of the day? Damn near everyone has sex at certain mutually agreeable times. So that was not the case.
Even the idea that sex for public consumption happening in residential suburban neighborhoods is nothing new, not long ago there were stories in the news about women( read white women) having sex, masturbating, and stripping online for paying viewers. What is so different to what is happening in this residential Miami neighborhood? Nothing, other than the fact that is highly organized, its gay, and it involves Black dicks. Its amazing how one appendage can cause such a furor.
Then most heinous implied fear tactic that news media used was juxtaposing images of the Cocodorms website, Black bodies seen through windows of a home, and then photos of children playing and interviews with residents that didn’t want it in their neighborhood near children. Implying that Black dicks are dangerous to children, and the need to protect children from them, but again there has not been one instance noted where children came into contact the models. All one has to do is look at NBC’s “To Catch a Predator” and see that many of the pedophiles are not Black, who go after children in suburbs.
Ironically, all these people who fear Black dicks, and their sexual prowess all they have to do is talk to someone who has had sex with more than few Black dicks to have them realize that, unfortunately Black dicks aren’t as powerful as all the hype would have one to believe, much to the chagrin of many a Black women and bottom.

A letter to my father

So yea, my father told me that he's taking his wife to paris to seek out medical treatment for her. But I have a brother who is his child as well, who is mentally and physically disabled and he has not once paid for any of the medical nor tried to help more than the occasional how is he? So it struck a nerve I wrote this email to him.

Now hold up, how can you take care of your spouse over your child? How can you tell me that you are taking your wife to another country to get the best medical coverage for her, but you won’t, haven’t, nor cared enough to do that for My little brother. How dare you ever say anything like that to me, it was as if someone had smacked and spat in my face with that remark. You will never know the sacrifices that my mother and I had to make just to keep My little brother ALIVE. Do you know what its like to have to give your child or your brother CPR to keep him alive? Or to call the emergency phone number so many times that the paramedics know you by name. To spend every major holiday in the hospital to sit by your brother’s side as tubes and medicine were pumped into his small body. Do you know what its like to suction mucus out of your brother’s throat just so that he can breathe? No you don’t I do, I had to take on the role of being my own father and being a father to My little brother as well, you will not know what we did nor do you care honestly because your actions speak louder than words. But hopefully you are not lying about your wife being sick I hope she has a speedy recovery.
I can’t go through this anymore, I won’t do it too much for me to keep going through this emotional rollercoaster I cancel my subscriptions to your issues. I’m glad on some level that My little brother is the way he is, so that he will not have to realize that the man he looks so much like is his father who does not care about his well-being. I don’t know what has happened in your life but in order for me to be safe I can’t keep going through this with you. This is not about the money at all, but about what the money represented, it represented to me that you cared about My little brother and I. So I was holding out some hope that you would do what you said but deep down, I realized that it was never going to happen. But you being my father, and I being your son I secretly wishing that you would come through. But as my 25th birthday came and went I realized this was just another time, like with the car, with paying college, getting me a computer and a host of other broken promises that you have continually created. A part of wishes that I never took the money that you sent because I feel like that money came with obligations and gave me false hope that I am dealing with now.
After you lied to me that you have children, I came to realize that you’re capable of anything. So I don’t know if your home needs to be rebuilt or if your wife is ill. Because you lied about children to your own child I know you are capable of anything. With all this being said put yourself in my position, would you still want to talk to someone like you? In fact I’ll make an analogy for you. If you had a business partner that promised to do things and never came through but gave money to further advance a project when they felt like it, lied to you about when the work would be completed, would you still work with them or would to sever relationships with them? I already know the answer.
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As I've said before Niggas ain't shit....

An Update on my life

One thing that I have been doing in my absence from the blogging world has been learning about real estate and how to get involved in making profits from it. So far I’ve read books, attended workshops, talked to various investors, loan officers, real estate agents, and of course watched TV shows geared to everything in the home buying lieu. I did the first important step which was to buy my own home and stop paying rent, I don’t really see honestly how this is going to help me considering I am paying more money in mortgage than I did if I continued to live where I was living, but then again my lease was coming up and my rent would have increased to a little bit more than what I am currently paying monthly.
So now it’s on to the next big thing, which is buying my next property for profit. This has proved to be very tricky, at least for me. I have pretty much exhausted all of my savings that were allotted to me in order to help buy my home. Then I signed up for a credit monitoring notice with Myfico.com, expecting that my credit was bound to go up due to the fact that I had just bought a home and had a mortgage that even in my absence from the working world I had managed (even I don’t know how) to pay my mortgage up until June 1st. Surely my credit score which was almost 600, it still amazes me that I was able to not only buy a home but with an interest rate of 6% with poor credit, was bound to be at least 620. Well you can imagine my shock when I saw that my credit score had plummeted at least with Experian to 533. I just stared at the computer scene in shock; it’s as if not matter what move I make my credit is forever going to be stuck in perpetual sub prime status. Needless to say I broken, I sent in the form letters challenging ever negative aspect of my credit report, but I have done that before and I know it won’t help.
Besides the credit set back I took a job that I think, think being the operative word that will provide a great base in the future. This is due to the fact I am learning about contracting, proposals, and how a business markets itself to the federal government. In doing so unfortunately I took a small 2500 pay cut from what I was making at my previous employer. Now couple this with the fact that I am now paying both Baltimore city and Baltimore county taxes, my paychecks look as if I am working a part-time job. Which I’m taking as a sign that I need to get a part time job, now due to the fact that at times with my full time job I have to work late nights and coupled with the idea that I really trying to stick to going to the gym at least 4x if not 5x a week. The part-time job will have to be either on the weekends or one that I can work sporadically. In staying with my current fervor for real estate I was thinking of becoming a real estate agent with Long and Foster, taking classes on Saturday and Sunday. The only issue with this is that the weekend classes are for six weeks and don’t start until July, at the earliest I could be a licensed agent in August. But then how do I start getting clients in a city where I don’t know anyone? Another way of making money that I had been researching was being a speed dating host. Originally, I went looking online to find speed dating events in DC for gay men, after searching online, talking to people at gay newspapers and organizations throughout the DC metro area, I found that no one could tell me when the last one had occurred, and that there is a definite market for it. Any gay male who has visited DC can attest to the large gay population, and the majority, surprise, surprise, are single. So I am thinking of putting on events for the gays in DC, this would be a good way of getting to meet people, help people, and network as well.
Sometime today I am going to sit with my financial advisor and come up with another budget in turn with my new job. To help me get to where I need to go, oh I forgot to mention that I found out I owe the IRS almost 2000 as well. Yea 2007 is shaping up to be a great year.

Color Complex

Color issues in the Black Gay community

The color issue in the Black gay community is amazingly complex, and displays the subconscious self hatred that Blacks have and the desire to attain a certain idealized form. Before people write me off as another dark skin man complaining that he cannot get a date or people think I’m ugly or not attractive because I’m dark. Bitch please, my complexion has never hindered me from getting a date, other attributes I have had. But getting back to the matter at hand, it’s not just the assumption that lighter skin is better, but it’s also this eroticizing dark skin people as well.
People often attribute the color issues within the Black community as dating back to slavery and how that has trickled down into contemporary times. While almost everyone will agree that the color complex is a divisive issue that hurts the race as a whole. As a whole it seems as if there is a complacency that people have regarding it as one of those things that will stay with us forever. But I think there is another reason for this, and that is more people are benefiting from it than those who are not. So many people attribute it to just those who are light skin as being the benefactors of such divisive action. But this reasoning fails to look at the other groups that benefit, dark skin people benefit from this color complex because those who are uncomfortable with their own light complexion are attracted to dark skin people because it revalidates their own issues of being “Black enough”, and those who fetish Black people whether other Blacks or other groups tend to go for those who are “undeniably” Black. One only has to look at any high fashion magazine, or look at the make up of the modeling agency and see that the majority of Black models are dark. Brown skin people benefit by being in this quasi state that means that they don’t invoke a gut reaction as to those who are light or those who are dark due, in essence they are safe in many respects.
Within the Black community it seems as if any difference, or perceived difference can be bad, unless that difference enables you in some form of fashion to not look as Black as you are. Those who look Hispanic, Half white, Half Asian, or have physical attributes thereof are lauded for these, not because they have the elements of true beauty, proportioned body and face, great shape and structure, clarity of skin, and teeth. Merely because their difference is one that can be help them blend. It’s akin to the FemQueens and Butch Queens who use their attributes to become more “passable”.
In a community that has so many issues ranging from suicide rates, HIV infection, and abuse why incorporate issues of color that serves no real purpose in the Black Gay community?

Hip-Hop

I have been writing! Just not writing my blog, while being broke I responded to a Craigslist ad to write articles for an online Hip-Hop magazine. Now, what most of you don’t know is that I have always had a deep love and appreciation for all the elements of Hip-Hop and the artists thereof. So I responded to the ad, sent the guy a link to my blog, so I guess he knows I’m gay, and he put me to work. To date, I’ve interviewed more than a handful of artists all with varying levels of success. Some have been doing guerilla marketing and promotion to get their name out to everyone, and hoping that something will spark their “big break”. Others have had their big break but no one still knows there names, and that they are trying to cement their status into the ranks of contemporary Hip-Hop notables. Then there is another kind, the kind that has enjoyed quiet Hip-Hop success, the type that they can walk down the street and not get noticed, but walk into the studio and all eyes are on them. So far some have been on the dramatic side, others have been so laid back that I wanted to check them for a pulse, others acted as if they had recently had a lobotomy. But none of them have been mean, well at least not yet, all have been gracious understanding the power and influence that writers have to paint you as either the biggest underground hype or the biggest no talent asshole since inception.
I’m thinking of contacting other Hip-Hop magazines, and starting to go to Hip-Hop shows in the DC area and write reviews on them so that I can a wider range of topics within the Hip-Hop world. The next interviewer is going to definitely get questions concerning gays and women in the Hip-Hop industry. Have I found a new hobby, and is there a way of making money doing this? I guess only time will tell.

I'm Back Bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My apologizes for not updating my blog at all. Thanks to all those who emailed me with their concern, but everything is alright. First of all, I got a new job as a proposal writer for an IT company, in DC. This is the first time in my short professional career that I have worked directly with an African-American male. In fact, this is the first time I’m working in an office where everyone is a male and there is only one white male working there. I must admit that I had to deal with my own internal racism that I did not even know was there. But that subsided quickly and I really am cherishing the opportunities given to me to learn not only about how to write a proposal, but also procurements, contracting, and working with the federal government as a contractor. Also my birthday is on Friday, and I will be 25. Unfortunately the only plans so far are to go to the DMV and get a new MD license.
Now, my life would not be complete without some obstacles that were put in my life. The first is that my apartment that I was subletting the management found out b/c the girl who I was subletting to could not keep her mouth shut. Since I was doing it illegally and I didn’t know what I could do, I paid the 400 applications and security fee that she would have to pay in order to start a new lease with management. Also since I broke the terms of my lease by having a sublet, I guess I forfeited my security deposit and the interest that accrued thereof. But that was not the end, so I get a letter from the IRS telling me that I owe them around 2000 in back taxes, let me tell you. That ruined my day and part of my week. Not only because I don’t have 2000 to pay them in one lump sum, but the fact that there are some other things I am trying to do with my money that being 2000 in debt will seriously hinder my ability to do such actions.
After shaking off the fact that I am now lost 2400 dollars in future earnings, I decided that it was time to get back on track with getting my credit score up. I was really excited to see how my credit score had changed because now I had a mortgage and whatnot. So I signed up with myfico score watcher with Experian. Then the other shoe dropped, my score had dropped by over 60 almost 70 points with Experian. When I saw that, I just sat there looking at the screen in utter disbelief. It was only until the screen went dark from being idle did I then try to find out what exactly happened to my credit to make it happen. From what I can tell I got behind on one bill this one private student loan which is about 1100 dollars that I have always had trouble paying because I just forget I have it. So I needless to say the last few weeks have not been the best. It just seems that I am this debt treadmill that I keep shelling out only and nothing seems to ever be making any headway. The one good thing is that I paid my mortgage payment so the next one isn’t due until June 1st.
While all of this is going on, or rather even before, I decided that I am going to make my own corporation. The company will focus on home renovations, home rentals, and a few more things coming down the pipeline. I am fortunate that I have a mom who is already doing what I am trying to do, so she has a wealth of knowledge and support that has proven to be extremely vital. I even shared this information with my father and asked him for seed capital and in January after seeing business plan and answering about 15 of his follow up questions he said he was going to give me the money. Well, that was four months ago, and granted he has kept saying that he was going to send it. I have decided that if I do not hear anything on my birthday about the money, it aint coming. So I have to look into other ways of starting myself off.
Which brings me to the tax sale in Baltimore, as a means of starting to buy homes and to start what I am trying to do, basically the tax sale is when a property has unpaid taxes, water bills, and other city bills that the homeowner has not paid, and in May it goes into a tax sale where bidders bid to own the debt and collect on the debt. If the homeowner does not pay the back taxes, interest, and any legal and title fees then after six months the owner of the tax lien can close the right of redemption and start the foreclosure process on the home. The tax lien foreclosure taxes precedent over any and all other liens on the home. Some people who I have expressed this to have asked how I can do this ethically. While at times I do feel bad about trying to do this, at the same time I feel as though my hands are tied, I have very little money, evidently poor credit, and no partners that I can share the burden of doing this with. So I must use any and all available means to achieve my ultimate goal. The money I plan to use to do this is the mortgage money that I would have paid for May’s mortgage, if I do not win any of the bids on the homes (which are the homes that I am targeting in specific areas) then I will use the money to pay down the IRS bill or the balance on my credit card, or that damn student loan.
On a positive note, for the past three to four weeks I have been going to the gym four-five times per week. I will definitely keep you abreast of the gym “antics” I have seen, and heard. It is a damn fool!

Just my thoughts